Born on 28 February, 1994, to a rigid, orthodox family, based more on rules than on logic. So, as you would expect, there was many a tense moment in my 17-year long existence. When I was 3 years old, I was enrolled into a nursery school, and I found myself in an awful place full of kids (at least) 10 months older than me. But this kinda evened out later when it became clear that most of them could nowhere near compare with my intellectual prowess.
So I, aged 3, got into the habit of staying at the top - of Bidadi.
Age 6. First crush:
Well, I don't remember much about this girl (or anything else, for that matter), but I do remember one thing though: I wrote to her my first love letter: a tiny piece of paper which read "I love you". C'mon, I was SIX! That's the best any 6-year-old has done!
Age... What? What happened about her? Well nothing much actually. She just took the paper back home and showed it to her parents, who were, understandably, freaked out and so, they came over to my place and discussed this little.. um.. problem, so to speak. I was beaten up by my dad and had to spend a few hours out in the cold, cos he'd thrown me out for misbehavior. (bleh!) I was let in at 9, having stood on my tiny legs for 3 hours. I promptly apologized, had my dinner, and went to bed. Never to ever have a crush again.
For a year.
Age 7. Another bunch of crushes:
We moved into a new house in Kengeri. Yes, this one was rented too. And I was enrolled into a different school. Better than the previous one, thankfully! (which, BTW, was no more than a modified stable)
This is a boring bit of history, cos my life wasn't very eventful back then. It was just the life of an ordinary 7-year-old nerd-in-the-making, with 3 hours of studying, one to two hours of play, eight hours of school and 1 hour of homework all being part of an average day. The crushes didn't bother me, and I most certainly didn't write any more "notes" to them.
Things went pretty well for me and my family. I was acing all the tests and exams, I was socially active, quite brainy, and I had a new set of friends in my new school. This school was even better than the previous one; it was (and still is) one of the most prestigious educational institutes in Bangalore.
Age 15. The Big Change:
Having discovered Eminem, I had now become a lot more arrogant, and grown an ego, which got me into quite a few spats every now and then. I couldn't complain, cos I really enjoyed them! I stopped acing ALL my tests, though I still did ace quite a few. And I got into the first relationship that I've ever been in. Well, it was more of a sympathy-driven thing, really. Because, honestly, I didn't like her. Her looks weren't flattering, neither was her intellect, and her personality fit the profile of a meek mouse to perfection. So, when she asked me out, I was kinda afraid of saying "no." because I knew she'd be depressed for a long, long time to come (what with me being her first crush and all that). So, I agreed to go out with her.
But dating her was not much fun, believe me. It was all so fucking awkward! I mean, we'd just sit there, talking nothing at all, dragging seconds into hours. And she, just never had anything interesting to ask me, or talk to me about: all she talked about was studies, and the future, and Telugu movies, which are shit if you ask me. Boring few months.
A year and a half after we'd starting going out (and a year and a half after we'd unofficially broken up), I broke up with her. Why? You see, as I got into college, I realized that I'm not doing anyone any good by doing something that wouldn't make me happy. So, I told her, quite plainly in introspection, that I never felt anything much for her and that I waited for so long to let the feelings towards me fade to a manageable extent where she'd think sensibly before doing weird shit out of pure impulse. But...
That wasn't the only reason. The other reason was that I had a crush on this other girl. She was a lot more chilled-out, a lot more intelligent than I am (which is a lot, actually), and very humorous, and very beautiful, and I actually felt something for her. you see, I'd always been this guy who never felt anything for anyone or connected with anyone or felt attached to anything. And adolescence made sure that the first person I'd properly connect with would be of the opposite sex. But there was a tiny problem here. She considered me just a good friend, and I was quite apprehensive about telling her that I had a huge crush on her. I was afraid it'd mess things up and spoil the friendship between us. But eventually, I told her that I had a crush on her. And that I've had one for a long, long time but I didn't tell her that for the fear that she'd stop talking to me. She was taken aback, I'm guessing, cos usually such serious things are not expressed over texts.
Ooh, wait, I forgot to mention the fun bit!
On May 17, 2010, when I wanted to go to Sapna to buy a few books for 2nd PUC, I casually asked her if she wanted to join me (the main reason is cos a friend dared me to do it, and I really wanted to see her). She said she'd have her breakfast, get dressed and come. It came as a pleasant surprise to me, cos I really wanted to see her, and I never ever expected her to accept my invitation. That happiness... Few moments have come close to that!
An hour later, I was on the second floor of Sapna Book House, Gandhinagar, browsing through the 2nd PUC chemistry books section when she texted me saying she was on the first floor, and asked me where I was. After I told her where I was, it was one full minute of tense anticipation. And everything seemed to have slowed down, and I could feel my heart beating it's way out of my chest, and every single vein seemed to be throbbing at the very thought of meeting Rachitha! And then, at 11 35 AM, on a Monday, I saw the love of my life. It filled me with such happiness that I couldn't stop myself from blushing so much that even now, whenever we talk about that incident, Rachitha mentions how much I was blushing! I tried to look away to avoid her seeing my ear-to-ear smile, but it was in vain cos every minute or so, my eyes would just wander to her face and those amazing eyes! It was like gravity: and I fell for it.
After buying a few books, we got out of there, and decided to go to a nearby KFC for some junk food. I didn't pay for the auto fare (and for those of you looking to learn something out of this, remember that that is NOT a good thing to do. Women are attracted to gentlemen, and not some mannerless hillbilly), neither did I pay for the Zinger that I munched on while she just drank her chocolate Krushers. Even while she was standing in line, waiting for her order, I just sat there, not bothering to be gentlemanly, and just staring at her. We spent half an hour there, talking about random stuff, mostly music and Kurkure and other weird shit. We took an auto home. Yes, she paid the fare, don't ask. She dropped me off, and went home. After I got home, though, all I thought of was her, and how happy I was with her. And somehow, I knew that she'd be there to bring me more of that happiness.
I was right.
June 22, 2010:
It was around 6 45 in the evening. The rain was pouring down all guns blazing, and I was texting Rachitha, when she decided to drop a bombshell on my relatively placid life: she told me she had developed a crush on me. What can make a guy happier that his crush telling him that she has a crush on him too? It was an amazing feeling! I don't remember what exactly happened over the next few hours, but in the evening, at around 9 or something, she asked me out. It was happiness over happiness for me! There were billions of butterflies in my tummy, goosebumps all over my skin.. It was a piece of heaven, really!
I agreed, duh!
Then, after a week or so, we broke up. Why? Because, for one thing, I never made her feel special, and for another, we never grew beyond the good friends that we were. It was devastating but I knew that couldn't be the end. I decided to keep trying to impress her whenever I could, hoping my efforts would pay off.
For the next three weeks, we bonded better that we had when we were in a relationship. I got to know her better, understand her feelings, and grew a lot more attached to her. It was almost as if my day wasn't complete if I didn't hear her amazing voice, and wishing her goodnight right before going to bed, and a good morning right after I woke up, became a part of my days.
One afternoon, we were walking to Nagarabhavi from Polar Bear, Chandra Layout, talking random stuff. And it was in front of Gurushree Hospital, and right opposite Chandra Layout bus depot, that I did to her what she'd done to me three weeks ago: I asked her out. It wasn't very romantic, yes, but I felt the time had come and it was more of an impulsive thing. I didn't think, I just told her that I felt I knew her better than earlier, and that I was pretty sure I wouldn't mess it up this time, and that I really wanted to have her as my girlfriend.
She blushed. A fucking lot! And it made me feel amazing when she said "Gosh, that's a lot of butterflies, I need to sit down somewhere!" She said she needed some time to thing about it. I asked her how much, and she said 2 hours. I kept asking her every hour what her reply was, and she just kept asking me for more time. Finally, two days later, she agreed! This time, I felt like the king of the world, like I'd conquered the impossible, and that I could do anything! Because that's how hard-to-impress she was and how difficult it was getting her to like me for all my imperfections- my anger, my boredom, my not-so-amazing looks, my weird hair, my cruel sense of humor, my skinny build, weirdly sticking-out canine tooth, my dark complexion, and most of all, my ego.
In barely a few days, she was telling me how well all those imperfections made me just perfect for her, and how I make her happy by being myself with her, without any inhibitions, any hesitation.
Win!
August 31, 2010:
Before I start off with what happened on that Tuesday evening, let me make something clear to the older generation: what the present-day generation thinks and does is, whether you like to admit it or not, mostly right. We think a lot more than the earlier ones did. Flynn Effect expounds the precise same idea that I am trying to convey. We can analyse things a lot better than most older people can comprehend. We are logic-bound individuals (though there are quite a lot of exceptions) and we only do things if we think there it is okay, logically. So when you hear about teenagers getting physical, don't flinch and throw stuff at them! We only go as far as we think is safe. We don't do things when we perceive the dangers in doing them. At least, that's how it's always been with me.
So I was at Rachitha's place, and we were chatting up about random things. Then, I decided that I shouldn't keep the urge to myself and told her that I wanted to kiss her. She blushed, smiled from ear-to-ear and laughed a bit, and agreed to kiss me. Now things got awkward because both of us were very shy, and after more than 20 minutes of nervous excitement, and the adrenaline rush, her lips finally touched mine. It was just a peck. And they withdrew just as quickly as they had come. I, being the greedy loser that I am, asked for another one. Having gotten it, another one. And another. And yet another... It was nothing like anything I'd ever felt! The softness of those lips, the anticipation, the sheer tenderness with which she handled my lips, everything was just perfect! And no matter how much I've talked about this incident, I never get bored of telling people about the happiest moment of my life!
Another win!
Not that there wasn't any important event in between, but I really wanna share the experience of my best birthday ever, so I'll rush through to the 28 of February, 2011. And about the 6 months that I've left out from my narrative, let it suffice when I tell you that it was the period when our relationship matured and the feelings for each other grew from mere attraction to love.
28 February, 2011:
It was my 17th birthday. I had a math preparatory test that day, and in the evening, at around 5, I decided to celebrate my birthday with Rachitha. She said it's a surprise and that I shouldn't open my eyes, and took me to a quiet place in the University. When I opened my eyes, I saw before me the most amazing birthday cake ever, neatly placed on a blanket, with a candle on it, and my Rachitha on front of me saying "Happy birthday, CS!" as we kissed and hugged. And her present: a greeting card, hand-written, and making which she'd spent three or four nights. It moved me to tears that I had such an amazing girlfriend, and I remember crying like a baby, out of sheer joy. And as we sat there eating the cake, I remember crying cos I was too happy to get a grip over myself.
And then, trying to cut a little piece of the cake for me, Rachitha cut herself. And as the finger was bleeding profusely, I realised that it was getting late and that we had to head home soon. So, we bought a plaster, and plugged the wound.
It took three days to stop bleeding, and an entire week to heal.
I can go on about her forever, but then, I want to keep those tiny memories of being unbelievably happy to myself because they're a lot more personal and feel more special that way, and keep me smiling through the worst of my phases. Every boat needs an anchor to keep it from being washed away by the wind. I've found my anchor, and keeps me in place, every moment of my life.
She's at college, at the moment. And I thought I'd tell the world about us, and thought it'd be fun to tell everyone about my life thus far.
And as always, my arms are aching, and if I continue to type, I'm sure to lose my fingers. So, I'll stop here. Leave your stories in the comments section, I'll always be glad to know your pain, your suffering, your happiness. There's enough space here for all that.
If you're one of those people who think that teenagers are just irresponsible brats who are blinded by all the adrenaline and testosterone, I just wanna remind you of the proverb "Young people don't know what age is, and old people don't remember what youth was."
That's it for now,
Ciao
PS: Visit Her blog, I'm sure you'll find Her interesting; I did!
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